


Separate Ways

by Maels (queen_ypolita)



Category: Coronation Street
Genre: 10000-15000 words, M/M, Post-Canon, going separate ways, staying friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-11-29
Updated: 2005-11-29
Packaged: 2017-10-04 13:47:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queen_ypolita/pseuds/Maels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At New Year, Karl gets a chance to see Todd again. Are all the former feelings buried now that they are both with new partners? Sequel to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/30694"><em>Todd in London</em></a> and <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/30746"><em>Letting Go</em></a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Separate Ways

**Author's Note:**

> As this is a sequel to two stories that were not originally linked in any way, there are some inconsistencies. The story was written intermittently between November 2004 and March 2005, initially with the intention of finishing it by Christmas but that soon proved to be unrealistic because of being busy at work and not having ideas about how to continue, or scrapping them when I had.

The film was over. Karl wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, feeling slightly stupid for crying at it, it was just a film. A very good, entertaining film, but just a film nonetheless. He glanced at Dan who was half-sitting, half-lying down, his back against Karl's stomach, he, too, looked moved.

'Not bad,' Dan said and stretched.

'Just "not bad"? My sister would skin you alive for that you know,' Karl replied lightly. 'She's been totally in love with Legolas ever since she was seven. And when she found that… whatshisname was playing Legolas, she's been even more obsessed. I'd better tell her I've never seen anything quite so brilliant in me life, next time I talk to her, otherwise she'll hate me for ever.'

'Didn't know you had a sister,' Dan said. 'Younger than you, I take it?'

'Yeah. Laura. She's fourteen and fantasy books are her life. And after seeing that bloke who became king at end, you know, I think I can see the attraction… Wouldn't mind someone who stayed in his full manhood for ages, wonder if they last long in other respects too…?'

'You're terrible, you…' Dan shook his head, amused.

'I know, that's why you like me…'

'I? Like you? What gives you the idea? Well, if I did like you, I think I'll have to make sure you'll never get the chance to test your theory in practice, I mean, if it's true you'll never settle for another ordinary mortal again. An ordinary mortal who's past his prime before he knows he's been there.'

Karl laughed and shook his head. 'Worried about getting old at 25, are you? I should think you've got a couple of good years in you…'

Dan turned to face him. 'Now that you've made me to watch a four-hour film to please your sister, don't you think it's your turn to do something to please _me_?'

'Is it? What d'you have in mind?'

'You'll find out,' Dan said into his ear.

* * *

In the morning Karl woke up to find Dan looking at him and tracing an invisible 8 on his chest. The touch was feather light and Karl smiled. Dan always made him smile, Karl thought, everything about Dan put him on a good mood. Even when Dan was having one of his grumpy mornings. That morning there was no sign of grumpy Dan, however, there was the sexy, exciting, passionate, gentle Dan.

* * *

It was later than they had thought when they finally got up. Karl rushed to the shower, Dan made some coffee and started looking for his clothes from the discarded piles on the floor near the sofa. When Karl came out of the bathroom, dripping wet and wearing only a towel, he found Dan half-dressed, looking out of the window, his coffee mug half-way lifted up to his lips. Something was not right, Karl could tell.

'Hey, what's the matter?' he said, putting a hand Dan's shoulder.

'What? Nothing,' Dan said but didn't move. He continued to stare out of the window.

'Come on, I can see something's not right.'

Dan didn't answer. Karl stroked his shoulder, at a loss what to do. He glanced at the clock and hoped Dan wouldn't notice; he should be on his way by now but he was reluctant to leave Dan like this.

'I can see it's something. So tell me… is it something I've said or done? You seemed all right not that long ago.'

At first Dan didn't seem about to reply. Then he said slowly, 'That was before I realised what day it was.'

'So, what day is it today? Thursday 16th of December. Or is it something else.'

'My sister's birthday.'

'I didn't know you had a sister,' Karl said. It wasn't until he'd got to the end of the sentence that he realised it felt familiar – Dan had said the same the night before.

'Yeah, I had. She died two years ago.'

'Oh,' Karl said.

'How?' he asked stupidly.

'What it is to you?' Dan snapped.

'Nothing… Do you want to talk about it?'

He stole another look at the clock. Dan didn't miss it and brushed Karl's hand off his shoulder.

'Aren't you already late?' he asked harshly. 'Just get dressed and go Karl, it'll keep. And there's no need to play concerned boyfriend since you aren't.'

'But…' Karl started. A glance at Dan told him there was no point and yet another glance at the time told him he wasn't running just late but very late; he wasn't on the mood for painful confidences anyway. He pulled on his clothes, gave his still wet hair a quick rub with the towel, checked his pockets for his keys, wallet and mobile and rushed out of the door without another glance at Dan

* * * * * * *

Todd yawned and rubbed his eyes. Why would anyone want to see an _extended_ edition of a three-and-half-hour film? It was beyond him. He yawned again. In fact, he thought, why would anyone want to see a three-and-half-hour film in the first place? Unless it was to cure insomnia? But Jamie, it had become perfectly clear in the course of the past couple of months, did. He had been talking about getting the DVD for _weeks_. It had sounded fun in the beginning, to make it a "house event", as Jamie called it, but when the day he had appointed drew closer, Todd thought he could have found better uses for his time. Like sleeping, for example. It had been a tough week, for him, work and course work from the early morning to late at night, he had hardly seen Chris at all, he had been looking forward to spending some time with him for a change. He had seen him of course, Chris had helped him with an essay, but it had been strictly about coursework. He smiled to himself ruefully, remembering how he had tried to get out of the film watching by using Chris as an excuse but Jamie had said to invite him too and Chris, the fool, had let Todd down by sounding inordinately excited at the chance.

Todd yawned again and longed for his bed upstairs. He tried to concentrate on the film for the umpteenth time but he found that he couldn't care less who won the battles or what the boys tried to be doing. He had no idea how long the film would last, it felt like it had gone on for hours and hours but there were still no signs of it reaching the end any time soon.

He tried, unsuccessfully, to suppress yet another yawn. He looked at the others, each of them with eyes glued to the TV screen. Jamie looked like he was holding his breath, Ella and Lisa, sitting next to Jamie on the couch were holding hands absentmindedly, both focusing on what was happening. Surely it couldn't be quite that exciting, could it? Even Adele, curled up in the armchair, looked riveted by the film, although she had said that fantasy wasn't really to her liking. Todd had no need to glance up to Chris to see that he was just as fascinated by the film as the others. Although he kept stroking Todd's hair, Todd could tell it was almost automatic. He shifted, trying to find a less sleep-inducing position on the floor where he was sitting, leaning against Chris's legs. Chris stroking his hair felt nice though, he just wished the film would be over soon and he'd have Chris all to himself. Although probably by then he'd be way too tired to do anything but sleep. He had never missed his bed so much as he did now, not even when he had been sleeping on Mark's uncomfortable sofa.

He glanced at his watch. If he was right, there would be at least half an hour left. How could a film be so long? Had the filmmakers ever heard of editing, he wondered. He made a desperate effort to concentrate but it was hard, so hard…

* * *

He didn't realise he had nodded off until he jolted awake as if from deep sleep. Chris's fingers were playing with the hair at the back of his neck. He blinked and tried to focus on the TV screen. It _finally_ looked like the film was reaching its end. About the bloody time, too, he thought and glanced at his housemates on the sofa. Ella and Lisa were both in tears and Jamie appeared to be holding back his, but only just.

Finally, it was over. Jamie, Ella and Lisa wiped away their tears and blew their noses and started discussing the details excitedly. There was something about the flags and colours or something that went completely over his uninterested brain. Adele stretched, catlike, and said she was going to bed, she should have an early night. Todd got up from the floor. His legs felt numb, he's been sat still in not quite so comfortable position too long. He looked at Chris and felt suddenly warm. He gave Chris his hand and pulled him up from the armchair, trying to prevent him getting involved in the others' discussion. It was time they had some time alone, it was time they went to bed.

* * *

'Todd?' Chris said in his ear.

'Wha?' Todd didn't want to open his eyes yet, he didn't have any intention of getting up yet, leaving his warm bed or even getting an inch away from Chris's warm body. He just snuggled closer to Chris.

'I have to get up soon.'

'Nooo… not yet,' Todd muttered.

'I'll miss my train if I don't, I haven't even packed yet.'

'There will be other trains.'

'My parents are expecting me, they've got plans that require my presence. I'll have to go.'

Todd didn't reply.

'I'll be back soon enough. Why don't you go visiting your mum? I'm sure she'd love to see you.'

Todd remained silent.

'You deserve a little break from everything, coursework and work and exams. It'll do you good. And if you don't want to go over Christmas, there's always New Year…'

'I'm working on New Year's Eve, I can't go anywhere.'

'Pity, I'll be back then, my mate Neil is having this huge party, I thought we'd go.'

'I can't, I'm on the night shift. Just leave it Chris, will you, I don't want to go.'

'All right, just a suggestion. But I really have to get up now…'

Todd just clung to him, Chris wouldn't be going anywhere just yet.

* * *

On Monday evening Todd cleaned his room. There were piles upon piles of paper and books on every surface. He would have to do some reading during the Christmas holidays but he was taking a break from all studying until Christmas at least. After Christmas, he'd really have to start preparing for his upcoming exams. He couldn't help thinking about Chris's suggestion, of going home to Weatherfield. It didn't feel like home any more, not in the same way the house he shared with Jamie, Adele and Ella did. He had talked with Sean, it was true, but he was still hesitating, although he had given in to him. If he did go, which he didn't think was very likely it would be after New Year, he had three days off that week… so there was still plenty of time for him to make up his mind.

* * * * * *

It was hot and the air was stale in the bookshop. Initially, when they had entered the shop, Karl hadn't been on a shopping mood. It was bad enough with having no ideas for presents, worse when you couldn't even see what was on display with all the people squashed between shelves and books on display. But somehow being with Dan had put a carnevalistic spin on it all. He had found a thick fantasy book for Laura easily, he already had a couple of Clint Eastwood DVDs for his father and presents for his mates, it was only the matter of finding something for his mum and nan. And he had no ideas. But it didn't seem to matter now, with Dan there making crazy suggestions and him coming up with even more outrageous ones.

They hadn't seen one another for a few days. It wasn't really unusual for them as such, they rarely met every day but total silence was different. Karl had waited three days before deciding to give Dan a ring, only to have Dan ringing him when he picked up his mobile to do that during his break on a lazy Sunday afternoon shift. They hadn't talked about Thursday morning, only agreed to meet in town on today, Tuesday, so that Karl could complete his Christmas shopping.

Eventually, he picked a book for his mum and they left the bookshop. There was a light drizzle of rain and they hurried in the next shop as fast as they could. It took some time for Karl to find something nice for his nan; he was sure she'd like anything he'd get for her, just because it was from him, but he wanted to get her something nice nonetheless.

They were making their way out through the crowd to get out of the shop but then Dan got distracted by a display near the doors and stopped to have a look. Karl pretended to sigh hugely but waited patiently, absent-mindedly looking at other shoppers looking worn out, irritable and occasionally also pleased with themselves. He didn't at first hear that Dan was saying his name.

'Karl, I said we could go now.'

'What?'

'Let's go.'

'Mmm.'

'Karl? You still with me?' Dan put a hand on his shoulder.

Karl looked up. 'Sorry. You were saying?'

'Never mind that now. There's a woman staring daggers at you, look, over there, by the escalator.'

Karl looked and thought he recognised her but couldn't immediately place her. After all, he saw a lot of people at hospital. Then he remembered. She was Todd's mum and she didn't look happy. For a split second Karl thought of ignoring her, then he made up his mind and strode over to say hello. After all, he hadn't heard from Todd for a couple of weeks. And even when he had, it had been chit-chat texts sent off during moments of boredom.

'Hello Mrs Grimshaw.'

'Karl,' she said curtly, bordering on rude. 'How are you?'

'I'm fine, thank you, how are you?' He paused and cast about for a suitable topic. 'Is Sean still staying with you?'

'Sean?' she said, surprised. 'Yes. D'you know him then?'

'Oh yes, I've known him for years.'

'Oh. Right.' She looked at him and then fixed her eyes on Dan over his shoulder.

'So, you want ask after Todd?' she asked, turning back to Karl. There was no mistaking the sarky tone.

'I might. Is he coming over for Christmas or is he slaving away at that hospital of his?'

'He's working.' She paused, clearly surprised. 'Have you been in touch then?'

She didn't have to know the details, did she, Karl thought, and said brightly, 'We've texted every now and then.'

'Oh,' she said and glanced over his shoulder at Dan. 'So do you have any plans for Christmas?'

'I'm working. No family Christmas dinners for me this year.'

Last year he had been busy planning taking Robbie to home for Christmas. He had been really excited about it, things felt wonderful with Robbie, they had just moved in together (although of course Robbie wouldn't ever have admitted that was what it had been), he'd been walking around in a haze of happiness. But of course Robbie didn't share what he had called, with the accompanying snarl, Karl's "couply dreams". He didn't want to be called boyfriend, he scorned Karl for wanting to take him home. This year, he was working more hours and would probably drive for a quick visit on the 27th. And he wouldn't be taking Dan… not that they had ever discussed it, it was something they both took for granted.

He focused his attention back on Todd's mum.

'Give Sean my best… and Todd too, if you speak with him.'

She looked at him with an indecipherable expression.

'I will. Happy Christmas.'

'Happy Christmas to you too. Bye.'

'Who was she?' Dan asked when they were in the street.

'An ex's mother. As you must have guessed. She blames me for forcing Todd, the ex and her precious little boy, to come out and then losing interest and leaving him to cope with the backlash on his own. Although it was more like he dumped me for sticking with his then girlfriend. Who promptly dumped him when he came out to her. A long story.'

'I see.'

'Never mind Todd now, it's all in the past. Are we going for that drink?'

* * *

Later that evening he got a text from Sean. _Hey stranger. Eileen gave me your love. We're having quiet "family" xmas without T, but Jason's new bird will prob come. But T might come over after New Year…_

Karl's heart fluttered. He stared at the display. Yes, it still said that Todd might come visiting his mum and brother in the New Year… would he want to see Karl at all? And, more importantly, Karl thought, would he like to see Todd again. Everything was good with Dan but he wasn't sure how he would feel when Todd would be there, how would it be like to bump into him on Canal Street where Sean would doubtlessly drag him, sooner or later. He brushed the thoughts out of his mind. Maybe Todd wouldn't come and even if he did, they wouldn't necessarily meet.

* * * * * *

On Christmas Eve Todd finished his chat with Luke, the porter who was doing the night shift, and said good night. Luke was wishing for a peaceful night, for his sake Todd wished that too, knowing that if it got rough, he'd find himself running round like a headless chicken when he returned for his Christmas Day shift. He buttoned his jacket properly, drew his sleeves as far down as they would go and looked up when he stepped out of the door. There were no ambulances outside A &amp; E which was a good sign. It had been raining all day, now it looked like the rain had stopped and the skies were clearing for the night. There was a fresh chilly edge to the air, promising temperatures below zero. Leaving the hospital behind and making his way into the Christmas-lit darkness his mind was wiped clean. No more work-related worries, no course work to be finished in a rush and to be handed in time this week, it was just him, walking and the darkness.

The darkness had felt comforting and he had taken pleasure in his solitude but when he approached the house and saw the lights he realised how relieved he was to know that he wouldn't be alone, that Adele would be there. It wasn't just going to be him and an empty house, with beans on toast for a Christmas dinner, a drowsy or a hectic shift to pass the long hours when everyone else gathered together with their families. Adele would be there too.

He got out his key and opened the door.

'Todd?' he heard her voice from the stairs.

'Yeah?'

'Fancy going for a walk? I was just getting ready.'

Todd hesitated only for a moment. 'Yeah, why not?'

Adele ran down the stairs, putting on her coat.

'It's almost a Christmas tradition with me, to go for a walk late on Christmas Eve,' she explained. 'Ready?'

Todd nodded and opened the door.

At first they didn't talk, just walked along the deserted streets in the darkness. Then they passed the little pub they hardly ever went to, heard the music and talk and laughter and the trickle of little knots of people in varyingly unsteady states, making their ways back to family Christmases at home or better parties elsewhere.

'Would you like to have somewhere to go like all these people seem to have?' Adele asked after a while.

'Guess so. Although it's less like wanting to be in a certain place, it's more like wanting to be with certain people.'

'Like your mum?'

'Like me mam. And Chris. I'm not so sure I really want to go back to me mam's, meet me brother and see all the neighbours and all that.' He paused. 'You know Mark, he was practically begging me to come back to Weatherfield with him, so if the family gets too much, he'd have someone to go out drinking with or something.' He paused again. 'You know I'm supposed to go back there after New Year… and I'm not sure I'm ready.'

'Do you always have to be "ready"? You'll be putting it off from here to eternity if you keep examining your feelings to figure out the exact moment when you are ready.'

'Good point,' Todd said.

They walked on in silence for a couple of more minutes.

'So, for how long have you been taking these walks?' Todd asked.

'For about seven or eight years. One Christmas Eve I was returning home from a late shift and didn't feel like going back to the dreary bedsit I lived in at the time quite yet so I went for a walk. It was a beautiful night, a bit like tonight, and I found that I quite enjoyed looking walking down empty streets, seeing people going to and returning from parties, gathering together as families… It wasn't something I particularly wanted to do myself but I liked seeing it, so I decided to do it again next year. And I did. And the next year. Though last year I didn't, a mate and I flew to Spain, to Barcelona, for Christmas. It was great… but it's great to have a chance to do one of my walks this year.'

'You don't do family Christmases at all then?'

'No. At first I didn't even want to go back, then when I got a little older and thought it might be a good idea to build some bridges with my sister and get to know my nieces and nephews but we all realised it had been too long. Too long for us, maybe someone else might have managed to patch up things at that stage but we couldn't. We send cards but that's it. So that's partly why I think it might be best for you to go now. But it's not quite the same for you as it was for me.'

'I know. I think Chris has convinced me to go now and Sean sounded so excited when I was talking to him the other day. And I know me mam will be pleased. So I'll go. But I think it's better to go later, not Christmas. People have so high expectations for Christmas… it's not like it's the magic solution to all family problems.'

'God, no. I think that was my mistake at the time, I thought it being Christmas would make it easier but it didn't. And every year at hospital you see people who've got the worst of having the family gathering together.' She paused and pushed her long black hair out of her eyes. 'I think we'd better head back soon, I'm getting cold.'

'Yeah, I'm getting hungry.'

'Oh, poor you, I dragged you off without giving you a chance to eat. I made some lasagne earlier, you can have some and we can open the wine.'

'Good. Is lasagne a Christmas tradition too?'

'No, I just felt like having some. But it's true I've tried to create some traditions of my own, so that I won't be sitting in an empty flat and feeling sorry for myself for not having a traditional family Christmas. I don't like turkey so there won't be any. I've got a couple of films for tomorrow and plans with a couple of my mates for Boxing Day.'

Todd nodded. 'It sounds nice. For you.'

'You got any plans?'

'Not really. I didn't want to make plans, work is enough.'

* * *

Todd sat on the bench on the little square of lawn in front of the hospital. He was freezing and tried to warm his icy hands a little on the remaining heat of his paper cup. He glanced at Mira, the nurse who had dragged him out for company while she had her cuppa and fag, her hands looked increasingly bluish but she was laughing at her own joke and didn't appear to have any rush to go inside. Her laugh was infectious, making him laugh too, although he could hardly remember what was the point of the joke. It had been pretty hectic at moments and he had been rushed off his feet, then things had slowed down a bit but you never knew what was going to happen next. He dug up his mobile from his pocket and checked if he had any new messages. There was one from Sean, wishing him a merry and not too eventful Christmas and listing the catastrophes he had encountered while cooking the Christmas dinner, and another from Chris, telling he missed Todd and had loved the present Todd had given him. He smiled and sent a quick reply to both of them. He hesitated, then sent a brief Happy Christmas text to Karl too.

* * *

He didn't have another second to himself until a few hours later when his shift was over. The A &amp; E had been rushed all day, with victims of fires (all those candles), domestic violence (all those bloody relatives gathered together, along with the drink), stabbings (all those carving knives) and bizarre accidents (all those kids and the stupid things they had got as presents). He met Adele by the entrance; she had had a more leisurely day in the maternity, despite one rowing family, one pair of premature twins and a couple of fainting first-time fathers. At home they flopped down on the sofa to watch the DVDs Adele had got. It wasn't until he was going to bed that Todd checked his mobile. Two texts from Chris, saying he missed Todd, one from Karl, saying he, too, was working and wished Todd a very happy Christmas. Todd smiled at it. For the first time it occurred to him that he might see Karl too if, no, _when,_ he was going to Weatherfield. And maybe see Karl's new boyfriend. Not that he was jealous or anything… it just suddenly felt very strange, to imagine Karl with someone else. Todd wondered what he would be like, another Robbie maybe? But hadn't Sean once, a long time ago, said that Robbie wasn't Karl's type? Had he meant looks, personality or both? He yawned, he had better reply to Chris's messages before he fell asleep.

* * *

Jamie came back in the evening of Boxing Day. It was only then Todd realised how quiet the house had been with only him and Adele there. He had been in his own room, sitting on the floor reading a book when Jamie rushed in and before Todd knew it, was sprawled on his bed like he had never been away and started to complain about his crap Christmas. Too quiet, too noisy for the grandparents when you put on the telly, crap Christmas television, disgusting Christmas dinner, irritable teenage brother, irritable teenage brother's miserable girlfriend etc., etc.…

'Slow down, you're breaking my ears,' Todd tried to interrupt. 'So you didn't enjoy your Christmas, big deal.'

'Poor you, slaving when others are dozing off on the sofa with the telly on. OK, it wasn't quite _that_ bad. Today was quite good actually. But I missed being here, missed you lot…'

'Did you? Don't worry, you'll be soon wishing you didn't have to live here with us…' Todd teased.

'D'you wanna go out tonight?'

'I might, I'm not due at work until afternoon tomorrow.'

'Great.'

* * * * * *

Monday morning and Karl didn't feel like getting up anytime soon. He had promised that he'd be at his parents by noon but it was only eight, there was no rush, was there? Dan was there next to him, so surely they could find better uses for their time than getting up.

* * *

At his parents' house, when he finally got there around half twelve, Laura was nowhere to be seen but loud music could be heard from her room. In the living-room, the TV was on, his father was flicking from channel to channel in search for the latest news on the earthquake and the tidal wave in Asia. It felt far away and unreal in his parents' tidy, ordinary living-room. His mother looked pleased to see him; he got the distinct impression that she was fed up with his father's and Laura's sulky moods. Karl wished he was back in Weatherfield, back working, back with Dan… almost anywhere but here.

Over dinner he found himself imagining how Todd would look there, sat opposite him at the table, smiling shyly to Karl's mum and finding it hard to talk to Karl's father but trying to be nice nonetheless… It wasn't until he was imagining what Todd would make of Laura that Karl realised he had gone from wishing to be with Dan instead of being here to imagining bringing Todd, the bloke he had been meaning to forget for good, to meet his family. Bumping into Todd's mother had messed with his head, brought back memories of Todd more vivid than actual presence of Dan. No, he tried to tell himself, he wasn't in love with Todd any more, he had put all that behind, Todd had a new lovely boyfriend, it was history, nothing else. For a while it always worked, then the memories and dreams returned as if they had never been pushed aside.

* * *

On Friday afternoon Karl was on his break in the staffroom where the TV, normally reserved for MTV, was turned on a news channel with most of the nurses gathered round watching whatever they had been showing for days on end. It still felt unreal. He made coffee for himself, noticing that Tina, the agency nurse who had been on his ward over Christmas, was looking very pale by the door, as if she was trying to block the blast of the television and the heated discussion on chances of survival, the inefficiency of the government in doing anything and the lousy reporting by the 24-hour news channels.

'Are you all right?' Karl asked, walking over to her with his coffee mug.

'Not really.'

'Is it work?'

'No. It's that.' She nodded towards the TV. 'My auntie and my three cousins are missing in Thailand. And that lot, it's like it's just entertainment for them, something to pass the time with when they don't have anything else on and something to have petty squabbles over. Like which coverage has been best, as if it really mattered how many bodies and destroyed houses and hotels are shown.'

'I'm sorry, it must be hard for you. And your family'

'Thanks… it is. It was a shock, I haven't seen them for years, they live in Sweden, and when you don't see them, you just expect everything to stay as it was. My mum and me, we were planning to spend a couple of weeks there in the summer, it's been ages since the last time… Then my gran rang my mum on Tuesday and told her that she hadn't been able to contact them. She was apparently distraught, now my mum's trying to get time off work to go look after gran and help her phone everywhere they can think of.' She paused. 'I think they're dead. And it's so bloody unfair, my eldest cousin's only nineteen. Nineteen-year-olds shouldn't die, or fifteen-year-olds or nine-year-olds.' She blinked vigorously. 'I'm sorry, I wasn't going to dump this on anyone, I wasn't going to cry…' she said and rushed off before Karl could do anything. He put down his mug and made to follow her. He had only got out of the staffroom when he saw the Sister, looking very rushed.

'If you've had your break Karl, come with me, we're a bit snowed under at the moment.'

'Sure,' he muttered and followed her meekly, soon forgetting Tina and her story.

* * *

It wasn't until he was in the bar later that night that he remembered Tina again, when he was watching people dancing and laughing and drinking. You never knew how much time you had left, did you, you couldn't just live your life waiting something to happen. There was no pause button so that you could pick up living when it suited you better, it was here and now.

'What you're thinking?' Dan said in his ear. 'Here's your drink.'

Karl shrugged. 'I was just thinking how great it is to be in your favourite bar on New Year's Eve, wearing your favourite shirt, with the hottest bloke in bar, who also happens to be the bloke you're seeing, is bringing another round in.'

'Is that right? You didn't look like you were having great time, more like someone had just died.'

Karl looked at him in the eye. 'I'm where I want to be, with the person I want to be with, yes, I'm having a great time.'

Dan's face was unreadable, then it relaxed into a wicked grin. 'Come here then,' he said. Karl leant moved closer to kiss him, with no intention of letting go until he ran out of breath.

* * * New Year's Eve had seen a constant stream of patients into the A &amp; E. Patients' friends and family seemed rowdier than normally, Todd observed, collecting the umpteenth beer can from the corridor floor on his way back to A &amp; E. The other porters had warned him that tonight would be harder and busier than usual, and not just with pushing the patients round. Chris had spent an hour on the phone trying to talking him into throwing a sickie to go to the mate's party with him but he had said no, he needed the money and the hours to be able to concentrate on college soon enough. Eventually Chris had given up but had promised to come and meet him in the morning, when his shift finished. Then when he had been getting ready for work, Jamie had tried the same. He was just going outside for a minute, to get some fresh air, but the noise level in the waiting room rose again alarmingly so he just sighed and went to see what was going on. It was only a couple of more hours to go.

* * *

Finally, it was morning and he was free to go. There was no sign of Chris by the main entrance where they had agreed to meet. Todd checked his mobile, expecting to find a message saying that Chris was too tired or too drunk to stay up any longer and was going to bed. But there were no new messages. He frowned, he had been looking forward to seeing Chris for the first time since Chris had gone home for Christmas. He pushed the door open but then hesitated. What if Chris was on his way, he shouldn't go just yet. He looked at the mobile in his hand and rang Chris. There was no reply. It was a disappointing because he had expecting to see Chris, to make up for the time they had lost over Christmas. But Chris had probably just got too tired to wait. He'd better get home and give another ring to Chris later, when he had woken up.

* * *

At first he wasn't sure what had jolted him awake. It wasn't even eleven yet, he'd been counting on being able to sleep well into the afternoon. Then he heard it again, the awful racket in the stairs, coming closer. There were two voices there, two voices his tired brain struggled to recognise. Jamie, sounding more than slightly drunk still. And Chris. That was a surprise. Then a third voice, a girl's shrill yell, interrupted. He hadn't been able to hear what Jamie or Chris had been saying, but he had no problems in making out Ella's words.

'What the fuck is going on? Some of us are trying to sleep here, so would you mind going somewhere else to yell?'

'But he's been playing…' Jamie started.

'I don't care what it is. I'm going back to bed and so are you Jamie. I don't care if Chris is here to surprise, snog or slaughter Todd, you'll just let him go and do whatever he likes. Come on now, have you forgotten how to find your room?'

Judging by the footsteps, she must have stomped downstairs, dragging Jamie with her. He didn't go quietly, he kept protesting all the time but Todd couldn't hear what he said to Ella. After a couple of seconds, there was a faint knock on Todd's door. Todd sat up in bed.

'Hi,' he said when Chris opened the door.

'Hi,' Chris said, looking very uncomfortable. 'Did we wake you?'

'Yeah. It doesn't matter. Come here.'

Chris sat down on the end of the bed.

'Look, I'm sorry I didn't come to meet you this morning.'

'It's all right. What happened? Did you have too much to drink?'

'Yeah. Sort of. Although I wish I hadn't.'

Todd looked at him closely, trying to see what was the matter.

'Why? It's all right, just come over here.'

Chris didn't move.

'There's something I need to tell you.' He took a deep breath. 'I got off with someone else last night, that's why I didn't come to meet you this morning.'

Todd couldn't think of anything to say. He wasn't sure what he had expected to hear, but it wasn't this.

'I'm so sorry Todd, I didn't want to tell you like this. But Jamie… he was there, at the party, he knows and I could have counted on him to tell you. And you deserved better than hearing it from me, not from him. Or anyone else for that matter.'

When Todd didn't reply, he continued. 'I'm really sorry Todd…'

Todd was struggling to take all this in. 'Are you? Where does this leave us?' he said slowly.

'I don't know.'

'I don't know either.' He got up and started looking for his jeans. 'I have to get out…'

Chris kept his eyes on him, looking very tired. 'Give me a ring later, OK?'

'Mmm,' Todd replied, looking for a clean pair of socks. He heard Chris getting up and opening and closing the door, then footsteps in the stairs.

* * * * * *

It was nearly noon. Karl and Dan were having subdued morning coffee in Karl's room in companionable silence.

'You know, I never thought I'd enjoy New Year's Eve again,' Dan said suddenly. Karl looked up, deciding that toast he had been contemplating to make could wait for a while.

'You did? Why?'

'Remember I told you that one morning that it was my sister's birthday, my sister who was dead. Well, she died on New Year's Eve two years ago.'

'Why didn't you say anything before? I'm sorry, I wouldn't have dragged you to the bars if I had known.'

'No, I wanted to thank you for the best night I've had in ages. Last year was hard… I didn't feel like going out. If I had, I'd probably got myself killed the same way she did.'

'Why? How did she die?…Sorry, that's a really insensitive question, I can't believe I said it.'

'It's all right. It was an accident, a drunk driver ran her over. Just bad luck.'

'I'm sorry… it must have been quite a shock for you. Were you two close?'

'Yeah, we were, although she was twelve years older than me. Her dad and my mum moved in together when I was five and she was seventeen and she didn't live with her dad any more. She was the best friend I had. I miss her…'

Karl looked at him closely, sensing this wasn't just about Dan wanting to finish a story he had started, he was also trying to say Karl meant a lot more to him than he usually acknowledged.

'After she died, for a while after my then boyfriend dumped me for becoming boring and mopey, I did everything… so if I were to die suddenly, I could say I had lived. Tried sleeping with as many blokes as I had time for, tried settling down with someone, even talked about having a baby with one of my dyke mates.'

'You wanted a baby? Are you serious?'

Dan smiled. 'Dead serious. We were talking about names and places we wanted to show to him/her and drooling over baby clothes in Mothercare, but when it came down to the practical level we both chickened out. Which was probably one of the most sensible things either of us has done. Yeah, I did want to become a dad but it's not just that simple. Maybe one day, who knows. Are you one of those people who can't stand kids?'

'I don't think I want kids. They say the kids are the best thing that happen to you but it's not always that simple, I've seen too much at the hospital. And…' he paused, not sure if this was a suitable topic just now. He took a deep breath. 'D'you remember that I mentioned Todd, my ex, we bumped into his mother before Christmas; he and her fiancée lost their baby very soon after he came out to her; their baby boy was born prematurely and only lived some hours. As far as I know, it was him who initially persuaded her to keep the baby. Then when he began to realise he was trapped because of the baby he had wanted so much… And I don't think that's uncommon really, people think babies will solve all the problems. I've seen it too often, that's why I don't think I'll ever want kids myself.'

'That's awful. Was it shock or…? I wouldn't have wanted to be him if it was.'

'No. There was a clear-cut medical explanation for it, but of course everyone, including Todd himself, thought it was the stress and upset and blamed him for it.'

'Were you… together at the time?'

'Not any more. That's partly why it was so hard for everyone. He had dumped me to be with his fiancée, step-daughter and the baby they were expecting, then he decided he couldn't cope in his marriage without having a bloke on the side, then he came out to the fiancée and expected that she would stay with him. And then the old problems with her pregnancy re-appeared. It was hard for all of them even without the baby dying; luckily both of them had families to look after them.'

'What about you?'

'In the dark; he dumped me. I only found out that he had done come out 'cos his mum had a go at me at the hospital when his fiancée was rushed in there. Clearly I wasn't wanted any more… the first bloke I had ever… fallen in love with didn't want me… and after I got a kicking from his ex-father-in-law, I thought I'd better leave him alone for a bit. And nurse my pride back to health too.'

'You got a kicking? Shouldn't he have spared that for your little confused ex?'

'He's a nurse and we were having words at hospital.'

'Right,' Dan said. Then he grinned, 'Tell me something Karl, have you ever been with someone who's not confused, completely messed up or a vicious thug?'

'What do you know about my exes?' Karl asked. 'And didn't you just say your boyfriend dumped you for being down after your sister died?'

'Point taken. But with you, well, there's this Todd bloke, he was clearly messed up, then I know you were with Robbie – I can't understand what you saw in him though, and at some point there was Jonny, wasn't there, Jonny who slept around… I only know that because I was one of the blokes he slept around with…'

'Really? I didn't know that… Now that does say a lot about your taste, Jonny was an idiot… so I slept around too.'

'Really? Good for you, you do seem to have some judgement,… boyfriend.'

Karl smiled. 'I don't know about my judgement, I'm seeing you.'

'You'll pay for that,' Dan said seriously, then grinned. 'I think I'm going back to bed and I demand you to keep me company.'

* * * * * *

Todd woke up with a jolt, not remembering where he was. Then he realised his cheek was pressed against the cold couch window and his neck was killing him. He straightened, struggling to pull himself together. Chris had come by and confessed - he had got out of bed and pulled on his clothes – he had felt the walls of his normally cosy little room closing in on him – he had been walking, then running, then taking the first bus he saw, not knowing or caring about where he was going – then he had found himself at Victoria coach station, with a coach to Manchester leaving in twenty minutes. In his exhaustion he had barely hesitated, he'd gone and got his ticket and a sandwich and a bottle of water for the ride. He checked the time, half four, not long until he'd be in Manchester and he'd get some food for his crumbling stomach.

Suddenly he felt very silly. Why on earth had he jumped on a coach all the way to Manchester, just like that? Why hadn't he stayed in bed and slept and discussed everything in a civilised manner with Chris when he was actually awake? He was acting like a stupid little boy, running away to mummy the moment he gets a little insecure. He didn't even have a change of clothes… he had just jumped on the bus without thinking. On the other hand, he argued with himself, he had been planning to go anyway, for a couple of days; this way he would have plenty of time to revise for his exams when he got back to London, back to home, and his revision wouldn't be interrupted by his trip. Still, the closer he was to his destination, the less willing he was to reach it.

His stomach crumbled and he was yearning for a shower, he had gone to bed straight from work, thinking there would be plenty of time for that in the afternoon.

* * *

He knocked on the door of No 11 and waited nervously. The sight of the corner shop at the end of the Street was a shock although both his mum and Sean had been telling him about it. It made the whole Street look different, although, as far as he could tell, nothing else had changed. It felt different too. Approaching the Street on the bus, there had been overwhelming sense of familiarity and excitement of coming home. When he had jumped off the coach, the feeling had evaporated; he felt empty and tired and out of place. He sighed. He was just about to knock again when he heard hurried steps and the door opened.

'Todd!' Eileen said.

'Hi mum,' he said.

'Why…? Has something happened? Come in, let's not stand on the doorstep…'

She ushered him inside and closed the door with a glance across the street.

'You should have let us know, we weren't expecting you… And it was only last night that I promised Gail Platt that I'll let them know if you're coming…' She stopped abruptly. 'Are you sure you're all right?'

'Yeah, just felt like jumping on a bus.'

'You must be hungry, have you had anything to eat all day? You feel thin, have you been eating properly?'

'Yes mam, I have. Stop fussing, I'm fine. But I could eat something. And take a shower. You haven't put my clothes away yet, have you?'

'No, of course we haven't… Are you sure you're all right?'

Sean emerged from the kitchen, drying his hands in a tea towel.

'Give the poor boy a break Eileen, if he says he's fine, then he's fine.'

'All right then… I'm sorry Todd, I have to go to work, Steve's having some kind of crisis, I won't be any longer than I have to.'

She bustled off and left Todd and Sean standing in the hall.

'Let's not stand here all day,' Sean said finally. 'You look dreadful.'

'Thanks,' Todd replied. He intended it to be sarky, but found it sounded strangely subdued.

'Come on then, I'll rustle up something for you, you eat it and tell me what brings you here.'

* * *

Under the shower, he felt slightly better. Clearly he had felt as awful as he had because he hadn't slept or eaten properly. Sean had been full of questions and Todd had done his best to dodge them for the time being. He knew he would tell Sean although he probably wouldn't tell his mum.

* * *

It wasn't until they were sitting on Sean's bed in what had been Todd's room that Todd told him, trying to keep it light and make his reactions sound laughable.

'I feel so stupid now,' he said finally.

'Why? You were tired and disappointed and shocked. Of course you could have hit him or have a hissy fit about it but you did what you did. What did he say exactly?'

'I can't remember… that he slept with someone else, I think.'

'Why did he tell you?'

'I think Jamie, my housemate, was at the party too and had seen something.'

'You don't think it was him?'

'No… I haven't thought about it at all… I don't think it was him though.' He felt his pocket for his mobile. He must have forgotten it on silent as there were four missed calls, all from Jamie, and five new text messages. Three were from Jamie, identical: _Where are U? Has that scumbag done away with U?_ One was from Chris, saying: _Really really sorry for this morning. U all right? Let Jamie know where U are, he's worried._ The last text was from Ella: _Hi, hope you're all right. Where did you disappear, Jamie's worried sick. Give him a ring, will you. Hugs, Ella._

'What is it?' Sean demanded and grabbed Todd's mobile. 'Miss Sean Marple would say that young Master Jamie is hiding something.'

'Give it here,' Todd said. He quickly tapped a message for Chris: _It wasn't Jamie, was it?_ The thought hadn't occurred to him until Sean had said it, now he saw Jamie's hands on Chris before his eyes so clearly that it hurt. Then he hesitated but sent a brief _I'm fine, in Weatherfield, will be back in a couple of days_ message to Jamie.

When he put the phone done on the bed, it bleeped. A text from Chris: _Of course it wasn't Jamie. Just a random bloke who happened to be there. Sorry, you probably don't want the details. I'm really sorry._ Todd showed it to Sean.

'If it was me, I'd want to know all the details.'

'I don't see how the details are going to make me feel better. I feel inadequate and silly as it is.'

'You shouldn't. No, I think I'd like to have all the details just that I could watch him squirm while he tells me and then I could throw them back at him and show him the door.'

'Well I wouldn't.'

'Of course you wouldn't. First you will analyse your feelings to death, then you spend twice as long analysing why he did it and what are its implications to your relationship… and then you'll stay decide to whether you want to stay with him and if you do, you will come up with a set of carefully defined rules for your relationsh…' Sean's voice was suddenly muffled by the pillow Todd threw at him.

'I'm not like that! You're depressing me.'

'We can't have that, can we? Are you up for going out tonight?'

'Going out where?'

'Canal Street, if you want. Weathy Arms if you rather stay hereabouts.'

'Canal Street.'

'Planning to have your own little drunken adventure?'

Sean ducked as Todd tossed another pillow at him. 'Not planning, but who knows…?' Then he had to duck as Sean sent both the pillows at his direction.

They were still play-fighting and didn't hear the front door opening until Jason's disapproving 'I don't believe it' cut through their laughter.

'Jason,' Todd said, slightly out of breath.

'Didn't know you were coming over,' Jason said gruffly. 'Anyway, I'd best go, leave you two alone. I'll be in the Rovers.' He slammed the front door shut.

'Did he think we were…?'

'Of course he did. Two gay blokes on a bed… he thinks that we can't keep our hands to ourselves.'

'I know,' Todd groaned. 'I think I'd better start looking if there's anything decent I can wear tonight.'

* * *

When Sean was upstairs in the shower, Todd sent another text to Chris. _Why did you do it? Who was it?_ Chris replied almost instantly. _I dunno – I was drunk, he was there, I just let him to make the moves. He was a mate's mate, you don't know him. It was nothing, I swear._

Todd stared at the message, wanting to be reassured but every new message from Chris just made him more anxious. Like that Chris said it was nothing. Todd hadn't really assumed it was anything else but nothing, it was only now that Chris said it that it began to appear as anything but nothing. He sighed, determined to push his anxiety out of his mind for tonight. He picked up his blue shirt and left Sean's room in search of the iron.

* * * * *

Karl was bursting with happiness – although he supposed it could be just a haze of lust – when he was leaning to a wall in the bar and resting his eyes on Dan by the bar, getting their drinks.

They had had a lazy day. When they had got up for the second time they had gone for a long lazy stroll. On their way back to Karl's, they picked a takeaway from the tiny Chinese restaurant near the Nurses' block.

'Do you fancy going out tonight? Or do you prefer staying in?' Karl had asked when they were finished their meal.

'I don't mind if we stay in,' Dan had said and winked.

'Fine. I was just thinking, I'll be on nights next, starting tomorrow.'

'Oh. In that case we should go out tonight.'

'Great. I want to show you off.'

'Hey, you don't own me.'

'I know. But I'm allowed to be a little possessive, am I not?'

'Of course. I'd be disappointed if you weren't.'

'You know how I'd hate to disappoint you,' Karl had said and grinned. 'I'm going to take a shower, wanna join me?'

Which had resulted in them almost not wanting to get dressed again.

But they had. Dan had got their drinks and turned, he looked up and his eyes caught Karl's and he smiled. Karl couldn't help smiling back.

* * * * *

Todd had promised to himself that nothing would ruin this night. No thoughts of Chris would be allowed to intrude on him having a good time for a change. He'd got Sean to swear that he wouldn't mention Chris or otherwise try to dampen Todd's spirits. They had got changed, playing George Michael to annoy Jason who had meanwhile come home from the pub and slouched on the sofa looking crumby and complaining about the music.

Canal Street was another place that felt familiar and strange at the same time. Memories flooded him when they passed the spot where he had been once standing with Karl, about to burst because of everything he felt at that moment – desire, jealousy, lust, not fitting in, fear, lust, overwhelming sense of all the pieces falling into place to form a perfect puzzle, courage, lust – and then words had failed him and he had done what he realised at the moment he had been wanting to do practically ever since he had first seen Karl and kissed him. Now he hoped Sean wouldn't notice how moved he was, but he was prattling on about the new bar they were going to.

There were lots of Sean's mates in the bar, it was a confusion of names and faces and gorgeous bodies. He was slightly surprised not to feel nervous around new people but quickly shook off the thought – tonight he wasn't going to do any thinking, tonight he was just going to enjoy himself. Someone got him another drink, he was feeling happy and relaxed and lost in the music.

At some point he thought he saw Karl draped around a handsome blond man but when he looked again he couldn't see him. It must have been someone else, there must be lost of gorgeous spikey-haired blokes in this bar alone. He put the thought out of his mind and concentrated on the music and movement.

* * * * *

They were on their way out, arms round one another, when they bumped into Sean, talking to someone but clearly not paying that much attention to the person he was talking to.

'Hiya,' Karl said.

'Karl!' Sean exclaimed, his glance turning to sweep across the dance floor.

'It's been a while… Have you met Dan?'

'Yes, I think we bumped into another back in November…?'

Sean cast another glance at the other side of the room.

'Looking for someone?'

'Yeah, I came here with someone and I seem to have lost him. With Todd, actually.'

'Todd? Is he visiting?'

'Yeah, turned up out of the blue earlier than we expected. Give him a ring or something soon if you want to see him, he'll only stay a couple of days, I think.'

'Right,' Karl said. 'I might as well,' he continued noncommittally. 'I'll see you around.'

'Yeah, good night.'

In the cab home to Karl's, Dan broke the sleepy chit-chat. 'And once again we seem to come back to Todd. Are you going to see him?'

'Probably. I don't know.'

'What is it with messed-up teenagers that you keep going back?'

'Oi, it was you who said anything about going back. But because he was so messed-up, I'm naturally curious to find out how he's doing, now that he's here.'

'Right,' Dan said and changed the subject.

* * * * *

Todd opened his eyes in a room he didn't immediately recognise. Then the memory returned – he wasn't even supposed to be in his own bedroom – or Chris's for that matter. He got up quietly and started looking for his clothes, strewn across the floor. He's head was banging but he did his best to ignore it.

Outside, it was chilly which helped him to feel more awake, but did nothing to his headache. His memories of the night were coming back and he couldn't stop smiling. He walked to the bus stop, wondering how long he would have to wait but a bus going to the right direction drove up to the stop after a five-minute wait.

He yawned when he jumped off the bus on Coronation Street. The sight of the corner shop still gave him a start, although he had seen it yesterday. On the other side of the street everything looked more familiar, Rita and Norris were standing outside the Kabin, having words. He waved at them; Norris looked at him curiously and frowned slightly, Rita smiled and waved back. He felt his pockets for keys and then remembered that he didn't have them any more – so much for returning without a fuss. He knocked, hoping that Sean would answer the door and not his mother; he didn't really want to face her just yet. Maybe after a shower and coffee and toast but not quite yet.

He waited, then knocked again, a little louder this time. Now he heard hurried steps and then bath-robed and sleepy-looking Sean opened the door. The sleepiness soon changed into a knowing smirk.

'Had a good time then?'

Todd nodded and pushed by him in the house, only to find his mother standing on the middle step in the stairs.

'Todd! Where have you been?'

'Out,' Todd said.

'Out? Doing what?' Her expression changed slightly. 'Oh. You were out all night. But I thought…' She paused. 'Why don't you go and have shower love, you look dreadful. I'll get you some breakfast.'

Todd nodded, embarrassed.

Returning to downstairs, towelling his hair dry, he found her sitting in the armchair in the living room and Sean making toast in the kitchen.

'There you are love. I'll make you a cup of tea.'

'Thanks mam but I'd rather have coffee.'

'Coffee coming up then. What has happened to your hair? It's getting long…'

'I'm under strict orders to let it grow a bit more, another inch or so, because Lisa wants to try something fancy with it.'

'Something fancy? Like what?' Sean asked, sounding dubious.

'I dunno, I'm looking forward to find out meself.'

Eileen brought him the coffee. 'Here you go love. And here's your toast.'

'Thanks.'

Sean looked at them. 'Right, I'll go now and leave you two to have a little mother-son chat. I'm meeting Kelly in five minutes.'

'See you later then,' Todd said.

'You will,' Sean said, and after a glance at Eileen mouthed 'I want all the details, all right?' at Todd.

'What details?' Eileen asked after Sean had gone.

'It's nothing.'

Eileen looked at him closely. 'You sure? Is everything all right Todd, I mean, you didn't look all right when I found you at that door yesterday.'

'I'm fine mum, stop fussing.'

'If you say so. But did something happen… something with your fella?'

Todd didn't reply immediately and Eileen drew her own conclusions.

'What happened? Did he dump you?'

'No,' Todd said and took a deep breath and told her most of what had happened.

* * *

He spent most of the day in No 11. Sean returned fairly soon, telling that Kelly had a cold and had rather stayed in bed. He started cooking Sunday dinner for them; Violet was coming over so that Todd could meet her. Listening to Sean and Eileen's banter, he felt a little jealous, as if Sean had taken his place, but then realised he was being silly. He was glad that Sean was there, that his mother had other people to look after than Jason who took it for granted. Then Jason and Violet arrived. Todd liked Violet instantly and noted how well she got on with Sean and Eileen and how effortless she ended up to help Sean to make him an early birthday cake. Even Jason seemed to be enjoying the laughter – it must be Violet's good influence that he had softened a bit.

* * * * *

It was around 4 pm when Karl finally decided to get up. Dan had reluctantly got up around one to go visit his mum, Karl had stayed in bed, with an eye on the night shift he was due on later. After having a leisurely shower, he made himself a coffee and sat down on the sofa with yesterday's paper to decide what he would do before going to work. He could go for a run, wash up, give Dan a ring to find out if he had survived his mother's retail therapy… Or he could give Todd a ring, to ask how he was, if he wanted to go for a drink or something. But he hesitated, it might have been easier if he had seen Todd last night, it was surprisingly difficult to imagine if he had changed and how, if he looked the same, if he still… whatever. In the end he sent a text: _Hiya, Sean said you're visiting, want to go out for a drink or something tomorrow, to catch up? Karl._

He was putting the phone back in his pocket when he rang. His heart leapt a little, expecting it to be Todd, excited that he was in touch straightaway, and for the first time ever he was disappointed to see that it was Dan. But the moment passed and he was happy to listen to Dan's voice, laugh at Dan's complaints at being exposed to lots and lots of old family gossip.

'Oh, and before I forget, mum said I'm to bring you with me next time. So you'd better prepare.'

'Oh.'

'I'm sure she'll like you and you like her, she's OK. Apparently I've been talking about you too much… although maybe I shouldn't have said that to you now, might give you ideas.'

'What ideas? That you're crazy about me. But I knew it already… and you'd be mad not to.'

'Don't push it. Anyway, are you going to work soon?'

'In a couple of hours, yeah.'

'So plans with the ex then?'

'Not yet.'

* * * * *

Todd remembered the text he had got when they were sitting in the Weathy Arms, after spending forty-five minutes being grilled by Sean for details of last night. He had managed to dodge some of the questions, not all. Then Jason and Violet had arrived and they had all gone to the pub. Now, in the pub, Todd noticed that Jason clearly didn't like Violet's friendship with Sean and got easily irritated by some of Sean's remarks that Todd and Violet found amusing. But the text… he dug up his mobile and opened it. At first he didn't know if he wanted to reply or if he wanted to see Karl. He made up his mind and tapped a quick reply: _OK, Weathy Arms, at 5? Todd._ He didn't have to wait long for Karl's reply, it came five minutes later when he was getting another round in: _See you then. K._ His heart leapt a bit, he hadn't realised how much he wanted to see Karl.

But when Sean asked about the text, he said it had been from Ella and Lisa.

* * * * *

Monday was another lazy day, he stayed at No 11, curled up in the armchair, talking to his mum who was going to work in the afternoon. It wasn't easy in the beginning, he wasn't used to sharing his thoughts with her and after he left the Street, he had spent several months avoiding talking to her as much as he could, dodging her questions and giving vague and noncommittal answers. But after he had begun, he found himself telling a lot more than he had ever planned sharing with her.

Both Violet and Sean dropped by during their lunch breaks. And in the afternoon he went for a walk. Then Jamie rang and Todd shut himself in Sean's room to talk to with him in peace. When he had finished, he sent a text to Chris, saying he would be back in London early on Tuesday morning.

In the afternoon he went for a walk, a long leisurely stroll around Weatherfield. Near the Red Rec he bumped into Audrey and Gail who were watching Bethany playing in the sand with another little girl. Gail frowned when she spotted him.

'Todd. I didn't expect to see you. I talked to your mother the other day and she didn't say anything,' she said frostily.

'I didn't give her much warning,' he said, trying very hard to sound polite. 'I'll be heading back south tomorrow.'

'Ah,' Gail said, and continued 'I need to check on Bethany.'

Todd was left alone with Audrey who asked about his life in London much more positively, as if she was genuinely interested. He gave her the positive account: college, job, great housemates, new friends, time of his life, but tried to keep it on a neutral level, not something to be rubbed in Sarah's face if the conversation was ever reported to her. He heard the faint bleep of his mobile, signalling a message received when he was talking to Audrey, but he didn't check it straightaway. He wished he could go over to Gail to talk to Bethany but knew Gail wouldn't allow it and he didn't want to make a scene, so he said bye to Audrey and wished her a happy new year.

When he was returning to the No 11, he thought he glimpsed Sarah and Candice, accompanied by two boys, one tall and one short, carrying something that looked like skates. At first he didn't know what to think, then he smiled. Sarah's life was clearly moving on too.

* * *

He felt very nervous when he walked in Weatherfield Arms. He didn't see Karl anywhere, so he got a pint and sat down by a table in the corner. His mobile bleeped; he wondered whether it would be Karl, cancelling the drink. But it was I miss you text from Chris. He smiled at it and put the mobile away. When he looked up, he saw Karl there.

For a moment it was like all those months hadn't passed; it was again June and he had been missing Karl so badly and now felt relieved that he was there. But the feeling subsided quickly. It was January and everything had changed, now they were just two mates meeting again after a break of a few months, without having managed to keep in touch meanwhile.

'Hiya Karl.'

'Hiya, same again?' Karl asked.

'Thanks.'

'Is that hairdo the latest fashion in London?' Karl asked when he brought Todd a pint and a fizzy mineral water for himself. 'Night shift later,' he explained at Todd's raised eyebrow.

Todd explained, which led to chit-chat about his housemates, his college, his job, the hospital.

'What about the bloke you were seeing? Still seeing him?'

Todd hesitated only slightly. 'Yeah.'

'Good for you.'

Todd nodded, not knowing what to say. He remembered seeing Karl with someone in the bar on Saturday.

'What about you? Seeing anyone?'

'Yeah. His name is Dan.'

'Oh. Good for you.'

'It is. Look, I'd best go now.'

Todd glanced at his watch. 'Me too.'

They got up and went outside.

'It was good to see you,' Todd said.

'Yeah, it was good to see you too,' Karl said. He hesitated, then pulled Todd into a fierce hug. At first it was awkward, then it felt good to be held by him. Then Karl let go.

'Bye then.'

'Bye Karl,' Todd said and leant to kiss him lightly on the lips. He wasn't sure why he did it, it just felt natural right then.

'Keep in touch, will you?' Karl said.

'Of course.'

But both of them knew they wouldn't.

* * * * *

It was hard to say goodbye to his mother again; hard enough for him to wish that he hadn't come. But on the other hand, he missed the house and Jamie and Adele and Ella and Lisa. And Chris. He missed Chris so badly it hurt, despite everything. He would go back to him and try to make it work. Chris had promised to meet him in the morning and swore that this time nothing would keep him away and was sending texts every half hour to show he was awake. It kept Todd awake too but he didn't mind – at least Chris was thinking of him, wanted to be with him. And for now it was enough.

* * * * *

In the early hours of the morning, Karl was making coffee in the staff room. It had been a quiet night on the ward which had given him too much time to think. About Todd and Dan. At last everything seemed to have come to a finishing point with Todd, there were no loose ends. And something was growing out of the thing he had with Dan, it hadn't been about just having a laugh for a while and he was eager to find out how far it would go.

_The end._


End file.
